FreshSqueezedLemons

Alice's POV

I stood in the bathroom in my old eeyore pyjamas, Jasper's arms around my waist as he stood behind me. I closed my eyes, longing for the test in my hand to finally say positive. 

One line - Not Pregnant

Two Lines - Pregnant

Bring on the two lines...
Jasper let out a sigh, and I opened my eyes. One line. I stood frozen for at least a minute, unsure what to do. Jasper leaned down and kissed my cheek.
"There's always next time," I murmured, struggling hard to fight the tears that longed to fall down my face. Jasper nodded slowly, and I walked downstairs to the trash can. I saw the five empty pregnancy test boxes on the side, and a tear trickled down my cheek. I slumped on the couch, and was soon accompanied by Jasper. He sat beside me, pulling me close to him.
"We're never going to have a baby, are we?" I whispered, staring at the leaflets for fertility treatment on the table. Jasper's gentle hands stroked my cheek.
"We will, I promise you. We will have a baby," he said softly, his hand resting on my stomach. I looked away, brushing his hand from me.
"Let it out, Alice," Jasper ordered with a gentle tone to his voice, and almost immediately I started crying hard. His hands caressed my hair, and he kissed my forehead as he lifted me onto his knee.
"We're the only ones in the family without kids," I wailed, "I want a baby so much."
I closed my eyes tight, thinking of Bella and Edward with 18 month old Renesmee and newborn EJ, and Rosalie and Emmett with three year old James, and two year old twins Rebecca and Daniel. I longed for a baby girl. I knew Jasper wasn't particularly keen on children, but he would go out of his way to make me happy. I knew that he would love our child...if we ever had one.
There was a knock on the door, and Jasper stood immediately to answer. It was Jasper's mother, Esme.
***
Our family was extremely complex for a family. Carlisle and Esme were together, but Carlisle was my dad and Esme was Jasper's mom. My mom and Dad were deeply in love, but she passed away soon after I was born. Carlisle brought me up for three years on his own, when he met Esme. She had escaped her abusive husband's violence, and Carlisle met her when he was working in a hospital in Texas, miles away from our home state of Forks, Washington. She had a broken arm, and she was three months pregnant. She explained everything to Carlisle, who offered her a room at his house.
Esme had left her two year old son behind, and regretted her actions as soon as she shut the front door. By the time she'd met Carlisle, she knew she could never go back to rescue her little boy. Esme doted on me and treated me as if I was her own, and this attitude never changed, even after Rosalie was born six months after she moved in with us. Rosalie and I grew up thinking that both Carlisle and Esme were our parents. It wasn't until I was sixteen and Rosalie was thirteen when we were told the truth.
Edward was born two years after Rosalie, and I felt a little pushed out from the family. Rosalie, aged just two, adored our little brother, and insisted she did every thing for him. Everything except changing his diapers. I was five, and not as motherly as my younger sister. All the attention was around Edward, and so I attempted to run away. Judging by my age, I didn't get far at all, and they found me shivering in the rain behind the furthest hedge in our massive garden. Carlisle and Esme had both been crying, and Carlisle lifted me up into his arms. Esme told me to never scare them like that again, but she hugged me tight and gushed that she was so glad I was safe.
I met Jasper in a diner when I was sixteen, when Carlisle's work moved us to Texas again. Esme got a little worried, but Carlisle swore she was safe. I'd got myself a job in the kitchen of a diner, washing dishes that gave bad money. Occasionally I was given permission to wait tables for extra pay. On one of those rare days, I served an extremely attractive boy, with honey blonde curls and chocolate brown eyes. When I took his order, he told me how such a beautiful girl shouldn't be working in such a cheap place. I served him his drink, and he flashed me a gorgeous smile. My shift ended, and he beckoned me to his table. It sounds exactly like the high-school cliche, where couples go on to marry and have a perfect family, and to be honest, that was what happened, minus the baby part. The first day I brought him to meet my parents, Esme gasped at the sight on him. He gave a confused look to her, and then gasped as well. You could clearly see the resemblance between them, and Rosalie looked just like him too.
Seeing as Esme and Carlisle are married, Jasper and I are technically step-siblings.
***
Esme had come to invite us to Rosalie and Emmett's third wedding. They had already renewed their vows once, and were doing it again. I sat in silence, wiping my eyes. Jasper and Esme were talking in the kitchen.
"I don't think I can go...I'll be in Africa," Jasper sighed. I sighed with him. Jasper was volunteering in Africa in two months, and he was staying there for six months at the shortest time. I didn't want to go, but Jasper had wanted to do it for years, and I didn't want to hold him back. I was staying home. Alone.
"Hey, Alice," Esme smiled as she entered the room, but then she saw my expression. She knew exactly what was wrong.
"Oh, sweetie," she murmured, sitting beside me on the couch. I closed my eyes, and fresh tears fell down my cheeks. Her gentle arms wrapped around me, her caramel hair tickling my cheek.
"I'm starting to doubt ever having a baby," I whispered forlornly, causing Esme to let out a sigh.
"Don't lose hope, Alice," she held me at arms length, her hands rested on my shoulders, "You will have a baby, and if you can't concieve naturally, then there are other ways."
Her eyes flickered to the leaflets on the table.
"I am losing hope. Even the treatment didn't work," I mumbled, my voice wavering as I fought against my will to cry. Jasper and I had tried IVF six months ago, and we were starting to think we would finally have a baby. At my eight week scan Carlisle told us the greatest news. We were having twins. Jasper and I had been so happy, and I had gone overboard trying to plan baby names and buying tiny baby suits, until I started bleeding at ten weeks. Nothing could console me when Jasper rushed me to hospital, only to be told I'd suffered a miscarriage. Jasper was banished to the couch for over a month as I stayed in bed alone. I wasn't blaming him. I wasn't punishing him for losing our babies, as I knew he wasn't to blame at all. It was my body that hadn't been able to keep them safe. I blamed myself, punishing myself by isolating myself.
I still had the first and only scan photo of my twins in a frame by my side of the bed. I'd never got over them.
Esme sighed, not knowing how to answer me. She just uttered three words and kissed my cheek.
"Don't lose hope."